If you're assigning someone or something abilities they don't have, you're using "should" statements. For example, if you have a fear of flying and are telling yourself "I shouldn't be afraid of this, there's nothing wrong with the airplane!" you're putting an undue burden on yourself. You have a fear of flying! It's normal for people who have a fear of flying to be afraid flying!

Some ✨ Should Statements can seem nonsensical when you say it out loud; that's the point!

Should statements can also be a sign of extreme unreasonable of yourself or others. You may think that you should be the best at your job, but this isn't necessarily true. Most people aren't the best; by definition, only one person can be! There's no universal requirement that it's got to be you.

If someone's rude to you, you may think:

They should have been more polite.

But why should they? Some people are not polite and it doesn't have to effect you.

Removing ✨ Should Statements from your life means accepting things for what they are and not necessarily what they should be.


I should be getting better faster.

They should have been here on time.